Incomplete
by Neon.Love.Monkey
Summary: Lords of Dogtown: Pippa Vardon has been best friends with Jay Adams for as long as she can remember. They had always been strictly at that...until 16 yearold Pippa begins to notice a change in Jay's actions around her...such as affection and jealousy...R
1. HalfAsleep

Incomplete 

(a/n: I know Jay is supposed to actually be, 13 per say, but in this story, his age will be 16 to suit the character and his emotions better to understand…anyway, on with the story!)

1: Half-Asleep

'Do you ever leave that window?'

At the sound of his voice, Pippa Vardon smiled, shaking her head. The all year round summer breeze drifted into the apartment, rustling the curtains and the papers on the table. Dogtown was in front of her, looking as best it could at night, glowing shots of gold appearing in the windows of similar apartments and houses across the streets. Above it, the sky was a wonderful midnight blue, the silver stars that lined it finally appearing for the night.

'Yes you do.' He laughed, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms out around her waist and setting his chin on her shoulder, something he usually did. 'You were at Stacy's work today with me and Sid, you came to the Pier, then to the pool-'

'Jay, I was kidding' Pippa sighed and her best friend, Jay Adams, rolled his eyes, making his way towards the couch and sprawling down on it. 'It's midnight, Jayboy.'

'I couldn't sleep.' Jay said and she turned around to find him nursing a pillow under his head, his sandy blonde hair covering his face in strings. 'Mom has some friends over…and they pulled out the alcohol.'

'I'm surprised you didn't join them.' She smiled and he looked up at her, a straight and dazed face pulled on. 'Jay…'

'Hmm?'

'Are you going to fall asleep on my couch again?' Pippa made her way over to him, climbing on the couch and sitting on his legs. For the 13 years of her life she'd known Jay, he'd been the biggest flirt, the wildest partier, the most talented surfer and skater, and her first call. After moving into the apartment with her divorced mother, Amy, at age 2, all she could remember from then on was Jay and his mom, Philane, who had babysat her whenever her mom was working.

'Maybe.' He mumbled and she rolled her eyes, rocking back and forth on his legs to annoy him.

'Mum will be home soon.' The clock above the small T.V sitting in the corner read 12:36 and her mom's shift at Lou's Diner ended around 1 o'clock in the morning…her late nights were a usual and the now fifteen year old girl was perfectly capable of taking care of her self until then.

'Hmm,' Jay said seductively, sitting up and grabbing her legs. She shrieked with laughter and he crawled on top of her, gazing into her gray eyes. 'That doesn't give us a lot of time then…'

Pippa rolled her eyes, blowing a strand of her sun-kissed hair out of her face. She knew Jay well enough to know he was only kidding around with her, like he did with most other girls.

'Cut it out, Adams.' Pippa sighed and Jay seemingly obeyed, rolling onto the couch behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist as he laughed. A silence overtook their space and the midnight sleepiness that was usually already around seemed to hang in the air.

'She took out the pot too.' Jay whispered suddenly and Pippa winced, thinking of his mom when she was high. Out of all the people she knew to get their share of bad nights, it was Jay when his mom was stalking around the house, giggling because the clock switched numbers. She rubbed her hand along the face of his, not needing to look backwards to comfort him.

'No wonder you left.' Pippa yawned and Jay lifted his head to the crook of her neck, resting his chin there. 'You're staying here the night then?'

'If I'm allowed.' She clucked her tongue at this, moving to get up. Did he really think that after 13 years together she would turn him down on this one night? 'I'll take the clicking of the tongue as a yes.' Pippa smiled, breaking from his arms to get him a blanket lounging on the armchair.

'You know me too well.' Fanning out the blanket, she set the blue sheet of cotton over him, making sure he had a pillow under his head before yawning. 'Mom will go straight to bed when she gets home, so don't bother waiting up.'

'And you were?' Jay asked, his deep blue eyes observing her in a question. Pippa shrugged, making her way to the narrow hallway off of the open living room.

'Couldn't sleep…night Jayboy." She waved and he inclined his head towards her, watching Pippa open the first door.

'Night Pip.'

……

The night was silent as Pippa pulled back the sheets of her bed, climbing in and lying down immediately on her pillow. Having being used to late nights of waiting for her mother to arrive home, she fought off and thoughts flooding to her mind and set her head against the pillow, praying to fall asleep quickly. After a few moments of pondering whether or not she should have left her mom a note that Jay was staying the night, she finally felt herself nodding to sleep when…

'Ah!' Pippa screamed, scrambling to the edge of her bed and sitting up. Something had just touched her leg and scared her to death, still she was not surprised to see Jay's impish face grinning back at her. 'Jay!'

'That would be me.' He laughed and she kicked him in his stomach, climbing back into her covers and turning on her side. 'Pippa…' She smiled mischievously, knowing only too well that he hated being ignored. 'You're breaking my heart girl.'

'Shut your mouth.' Pippa groaned and Jay shrugged, climbing beside her. 'What are you doing?'

'Sleeping.' He yawned, as if it was the most obvious and amusing thing in the world. Pippa frowned and turned to face him, her face stern and cranky. She was tired and wanted to go to sleep…yet Jay being who he was neglected that fact and still bothered her.

'Jay…you can't stay in here.'

'Why not?' She tried her hardest to glare at him, but his deep and puppy dog eyes stared right back at her.

'Because…you're a boy. And I'm a girl. Do you know the impression my mother will get when she walks in?' Jay rolled his eyes, lying down on his back. Pippa did the same, turning to look at him.

'We're best friends, Pip. To think she would make anything of this would be appalling.' His smirk was apparent as he sat up, staring down at her and she saw right through what he meant by it. 'But then again, it would save her and my mother all that time trying to hook us up, now wouldn't it?'

'Jay Adams!' She shrieked and he laughed, looking down at her.

'You know I was only kidding, Pip.' Pippa giggled, but the sudden seriousness that covered Jay's face hit her deep. 'Your eyes are beautiful.'

'Okay…now you really can't stay in here.' She tried to lighten the mood by cracking a joke, and for a moment she thought Jay hadn't heard her. But none the less, he jumped off her bed in an instant and responded as if nothing had happened.

'Fine, I'll leave. Goodnight.' He said stiffly as he walked out of the room, leaving Pippa completely confused.

……

The smell of warm pancakes woke Jay up, him eyes groggily opening as he rubbed them. _Amy must be making pancakes. _By instinct, he pushed the blanked off of him and blinked a few times until his eyes adjusted to the morning light. Someone had pulled the blinds back, allowing the sunlight to shine through the window and right into his eyes. _Perfect day for skating._

'That smells delicious, Amy.' He mumbled and he heard a giggle escape from the direction of the kitchen. _Shit…_

'Last I remember, my name was Pippa and my mother's name was Amy.' Pippa's laugh floated to his ears and he felt the familiar feeling arise in his stomach. A feeling of nervousness and sudden worry about how he looked having just woken up filled him and Jay ran his fingers through his hair quickly. 'Pancakes Jay?'

'Of course.' He sighed, getting up off the couch. His plain white t-shirt lay in a pile with his tangled blanket and knowing the struggle set before him, he decided against putting it back on. Pippa had seen him shirtless before…several times, in fact. It wasn't a big deal. _Then why are you blushing, Jay?_

'Syrup?'

'Huh?'

'Syrup? On the pancakes?' Jay nodded wordlessly as he walked slowly towards the kitchen, taking his time to observe his best friend. Pippa was standing over the oven, long hair tied back in a anything-but-neat bun, spatula in one hand and a plate in the other. She seemed to be perfectly content with baking pancakes, but then again, Pippa was completely content doing anything.

'How long have you been up for?' He asked as he came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her middle and setting his chin on her shoulder. She smelt like cinnamon and honey…his most favorite smell in the world.

'A while.' Pippa responded timidly, putting his plate full of pancakes down on the counter beside her. The Vardon's kitchen was small and dull looking, but more welcoming to Jay than his whole apartment was. 'Mom had a new morning job, so I got up to make her breakfast.'

'How kind of you, Pip.' He teased and she patted his right hand, gesturing towards the plate of pancakes with her spatula. 'Are those for me?'

'No, I'm sending you home hungry. Of course they're for you.' Without thinking, Jay kissed her cheek gently three times before letting Pippa go and taking his plate of pancakes. A lingering silence flowed through the air and Jay felt slightly stiff as he sat down at the steel-legged table. _Why couldn't I have stopped myself one damn time?_

……

'Dude! That was so gnarly!' Pippa laughed at Sid's exclamation as Wentzel Ruml crashed down on the cold sand beside them. She and Jay had quickly eaten and gotten to the P.O.P as quickly as walking could take them. Now she sat on the beach, watching the guys surf in what most people would call "the door to suicide". 'Man, you've got to teach me how to do that.'

'In time, bro.' Wentzel nodded, grinning recklessly at Pippa. 'Hey beautiful.'

'Hey Wentz.' Pippa said, her tone sarcastic but her cheeks glowing pink profusely. 'Sid's right, man. You were rockin' today.' Sid glowed with pride at being recognized, but Wentzel just shrugged it off.

'It was nothing. Just some stuff I've been working on lately an all.' He sighed and Sid jumped up, scrambling to get his wetsuit on.

'Wenztel, can I use your board man?' Sid asked eagerly and Pippa already knew the answer. _No…_

'Sure man. Just watch the waves, alright? Biniak smashed his board already and you know the degree of the debris.' Jay's blonde head bobbed up and down in the deep blue waters, but Pippa's attention had been snapped away from that. She stopped herself just in time from blurting out 'What!' and instead watched Sid running down to the water with Wentzel's surf board in tow.

'What was that all about?' She finally asked and Wentzel laughed, propping back onto his elbows. Pippa didn't know exactly what it was, but there was something different about Wentzel. And she wanted to know what it was. 'Wentz…you never lend out your board.'

'Change of heart, I suppose.' He shrugged. 'Sid doesn't have a board, anyway. Smashed his up a while back.' Tugging at the bottom of her worn, plaid shirt, Pippa leaned back and lay on the sand. What she would give to be surfing…but that possibility had been ruined when she'd fallen on her ankle only a few weeks back riding down Bicknell Hill. Jay had been yelling something or another and she'd tripped herself, landing hard on the pavement. 'What are ya thinking about Pip?'

'My ankle. Surfing. Your change of attitude.' _Jay's change of attitude._ She turned to see Wentzel staring at her and she grinned broadly.

'Do you like it?' Pippa raised her eyebrows, reaching forward and toying with a piece of his sun-dried blonde hair. 'My attitude I mean.'

'It's not much different man. You've always been a sweetie.' Pippa giggled, knowing the term would kill him. Wentzel gasped in mock horror, falling onto the sand beside her. 'But a Dogtown sweetie.'

'Thanks…that makes it so much better, Pip.' He said, rolling his eyes. The waves crashed against the aging ruins and Pippa stood up, eyeing the black, jagged pieces of wood that stuck out of the angry sea.

'Come up to the landing with me.' She asked and Wentzel jumped up immediately, an odd twinkle in his eye. He smiled, grabbing her hand and beginning to run.

'Let's go dolly.'


	2. Only Kind of Jealous

Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed my story! You guys rock! This chapter might seem a little BANG with like tragedy and romance and all, but I'm like that. I like to start a story off with a bit of a twist and mould characters into my own interpretation or them. Hope you like it!

2: Only Kind of Jealous

"I love it up here." Pippa sighed, staring down into the roaring blue waves of the Pacific Ocean. Beside her, Wentzel nodded as he tried to pay attention to his surroundings…and not just Pippa. "Thanks for coming up here with me Wentz. No one but Jay ever does."

"No prob man." He smiled, trying his best to look handsome as he did. Pippa had spun his world around when he'd met her. And he'd spent the rest of the time trying to not fall head over heels for her. "It's really nice…and you can see the dudes surfing from here too! So I can make sure the little man isn't totaling my board."

She giggled as the wind toyed with her long blonde hair, making it blow wildly around her face as she smiled at him. _You're falling hard Wentz…just try to play it cool…like Jayboy would._

"You going to TA's party tonight?" Wentzel asked smoothly. He'd raced her up the broken shards of wood they used for stairs, past the graffiti work he and Jay had done several months before, up the rafts, and yet she'd still won. Pippa was unlike any other girl he'd met before.

"Yeah…probably." She shrugging, picking a piece of soaking wet wood off of the dripping fence. "Are you?"

"Have I ever missed one, Dolly?" He grinned, leaning on his elbows against the prickly wood. "Course I'm going." Hesitating before adding the last part, he tried to be sure of himself. _She could just say "No way, Wentz." She could just say that…_ "We could hang out there, or something."

A blush immediately flushed her skin and Pippa giggled as she propped herself against an elbow. The harsh waves splashed against the rickety boardwalk, making it sway dangerously, as they remained unmoved on top of it.

"Wenztel Ruml, are you trying to ask me out?" Now it was his turn to blush as the wood they stood on took another dangerous sway. Blonde wisps of hair flicked in front of his eyes as her hair blew in his face, making his scrunch his face up when it tickled.

"Maybe. Do you want me to ask you out?" _Okay…now that was just retarded sounding…what are you thinking Wentzel! She obviously has a thing for Jayboy…_

"Pippa! Wentz! Get off that thing you maggots!" Skip bellowed from the waves below them. He saw her face look around in worry…but only for a split second.

"Come on Skip! This hunk of junk has been up for the longest time! Do you really think it's gonna break now?" Pippa was suddenly yelling over the edge and Wentzel believed her…but only for a moment.

……

The first snap came quickly to her ears and she grabbed the wooden ledge to try and steady herself. Consciously, her hand found Wentzel's arm, but only one name came to her mind as another snap whipped the air.

_Jay…_

"Pippa! Let's go!" Wentzel's voice yelled and she tried to nod as they started moving towards the nearest exit…the stairs. "Pippa!"

He was already at the stairs, but for some reason it didn't feel safe to step forwards. _Go back…_But she couldn't. If she did, her chance of surviving the crash would surely be a lot less likely than moving forward.

"Wentz!" Red Dog had appeared at the top of the rickety stairs, and although addressing the struggling Wenztel in his arms, he was staring at her with a worried exasperation. "Pip, come on…you can do it." With one arm around Wentzel's waist, his other hand was stretched out to her.

_Go back Pippa!_

"I can't." She whispered to herself, stepping forward onto the board and immediately feeling it snap in half.

"Pippa!"-"NO!"

……

The amount of time it takes for something to turn from bad to worse is amazingly numbing. And Jay Adams had just experienced that feeling for the first time.

"Pippa!" Wentzel's voice screamed from the top of the crumbling walkway and it took him only a few seconds to register what was happening.

"NO!" His voice bellowed through the air as Pippa's scream filled his ears before her body hitting the bare surface of the ocean stifled it. He was off his surfboard in only a second, diving into the water and pounding his way to the area where Pippa fell.

Under the dank waves of the pier, debris littered almost every inch of the murky blue water in front of him. After a few minutes of trying to look for her body, Jay burst up into the surface again, pushing planks and bits of surfboards out of his way. He _needed _to find her…

And as he ducked under again, her long blonde hair was what caught his eye. Floating around her face like she was Sleeping Beauty, her eyes were closed, but miraculously, she hadn't seemed to hit anything. She was just floating there…golden hair surrounding her pale face.

A warm sensation of relief filled his body as he eagerly swam towards her, pushing debris out of his way to get to her. _She's just knocked out…she's just knocked out…_

As he reached her, he felt himself smiling in desperation. _We'll laugh about this someday…when we can both go near the water again._ Ripping the part of her jeans that was caught on a jagged looking hunk of wood, Jay wrapped an arm around his best friend's waist to help bring her up to the surface.

It seemed like an eternity before they touched air again, Jay gasping when they reached it. They'd drifted when he'd dragged her up…and she was heavy when she wasn't alert.

"Come on Pip. Wake up, please." He panted as he began to swim towards the nearest patch of sand that wasn't polluted with ruins. Finally, after about two minutes, he spotted one that was only a quick swim away. "Please don't be dead. Please don't be dead."

She was death cold when he threw her on the hard sand, her blonde hair now a sickly brown color that stuck to her face. Jay was thankful for his wet face that concealed the hot tears streaming down his face, and he swore in frustration as he dragged himself onto the shore beside her.

"Okay…shit, I can't remember that stupid thing mom taught me." He cussed, stifling a sob as he shook Pippa's lifeless body in an attempt to knock her awake. "Shit…okay…uh…just give her air."

Opening her mouth and pinching her nose so she would be forced to breathe, he felt his cheeks heat up as he leaned down towards her. _This is not how I imagined this…_

It only took her a second to catch on…after the third try, she was coughing up water and gasping for breath as Jay crawled back, blinking a few times to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

"Pippa…" He gasped and she turned to him, her gray eyes wide in surprise before crinkling with tears. And he couldn't help it…he couldn't stop himself from crawling over to her…he pulled her into him and wrapped his arms around her, not ever wanting to let go.

"I thought you died." Jay gasped, running his fingers through her soaking wet hair. She held him tightly, kissing his cheek softly as she set her head on his shoulder.

"I thought I'd never see you again." Pippa coughed and he really didn't care who saw…no one could see them through the mounds of rubble surrounding them and it would take the rest of the team at least a good ten minutes to find them. "Jay…"

"Pippa…I think I might…I think I…" He couldn't finish his sentence and she set her hand on his cheek, leaning back to look at him.

"What?"

"I think I…" His nose brushed hers and he leaned in to kiss her softly. He couldn't let her slip away with out knowing that…even if it could ruin everything they had. It took him a few seconds to realize that she was kissing him back and that he'd let the kiss deepen willingly and automatically. _This is more what I imagined…except I'd told you I loved you…_

"Pippa! Jayboy! Where are you?" Skip's slur cut through his moment of bliss and he made a mental note to kick his mentor sometime later on today. They broke apart immediately and stared into each other's eyes…"Pip! Jay! Shout or we'll all think you're bloody dead!"

He pressed his forehead against hers as he toyed with a piece of her hair… "Jay…"

"Later." Was all he could whisper before Red Dog's voice cut through their thoughts.

"Guys! I found them!"

……

"I'm so sorry."

Pippa laughed, tossing her hair as she rubbed a scratch on her arm. She was sitting beside Wentzel at another one of Tony's infamous house parties and once again she was one of the only ones not getting high or hammered.

"I know Wentz…and I told you…it's okay." She sighed, leaning her head back on the large red couch they were sitting on. Beside them, a rather bored looking Peggy Oki sipped her beer, looking around the party glumly. Ever since Jay had joined the Zephyr Surf Team, Pippa had befriended most of his teammates…but had strung up a good friendship with the only girl member of the team.

"But I'm really sorry-"

"Wentzel!" Peggy hissed, turning to the boy and staring him down. "Pippa said it was okay…you've said that about ten million times man! Just shut it!"

"Woah, Peggy's on fire tonight." Wentzel laughed and the Asian girl recoiled back into her seat, huffing out an angry breath. "Pip. Come find a joint with me?"

"Alright." Pippa sighed, rolling her eyes. Ten minutes into the party, and already he was setting out to find a joint. "Peggy, I'll be back in a jiffy."

Her long black hair gleamed feebly in the dim light and she nodded, smiling at Pippa meekly. Only a few seconds after she'd said this, Red Dog slid into the spot that she and Wentz had been sitting in only minutes before and they were completely forgotten.

"Come on." Wentz said softly into her ear and Pippa glanced curiously at Peggy, who just smiled. Something was going on… "Actually…I don't feel like a joint. Wanna take a walk?"

"What?" She asked as they made their way past a large group of giggling girls that were surrounding someone who sounded a lot like Tony by the doorway. "Wentz, where are we going?"

"Too stuffy inside, man. We're going to the porch." Pippa's eyes lit up in suspicion but Wentzel just grinned, taking her hand and dragging her past a couple getting hot and heavy against the closet.

"So the porch…is that all?" She asked as he pulled to stop, spinning her around to face him. As he began to lean in, the thoughts of her and Jay earlier sped into her mind and Pippa broke off from Wentz. "What are you doing?"

Wentzel's baby blue eyes were glazed with confusion and he shrugged, brushing his hand against her shoulder. _Oh no…_

"I thought there'd been something going on between us." His voice was soft and hurt, not normally like the crazy Wentzel would've taken a slap to the face. A silence met his statement and the two people who had been friends moments ago hung in a questionable state. "Was I moving too fast?"

"Just a little." Pippa frowned, staring determinedly at the porch floor. She'd liked Wentz because he was sweet and treated her like one of the guys while respecting her female gender. And now…he'd tried to pull a Jay or a Tony, as most people from the Dogtown area would call it.

"Shit," He cursed and a smile pursed her lips. "I need a joint." And with no other words, he disappeared back into the Alva residence, stepping into the life of the party. Pippa watched his retreating back with a frown on her face. Out of all things, she hadn't wanted to hurt his feelings. And out of all things, that's the one thing she'd managed to do.

……

Jay downed the rest of his drink, the chipped wood of the Alva's front porch scratching against his bare back. It was too hot to not go shirtless, but that matter didn't seem to appeal to as many people he thought it would.

_I need another beer_…He thought as he watched several people mingle around Tony's small front yard, giggling under the influence of alcohol and drugs while whispering sweet nothings into their partners ear. If he could change the way things were now, he would. Images of Pippa had been flashing in his mind all-day and leading towards the fact he'd ruined their friendship by letting that one moment happen. So much had happened in only a few hours…it felt like a lifetime for Jay.

"So the porch…is that all?" Pippa's voice crashed through his mind as he absentmindedly watched a couple laughing on the grass. His head turned and a flame burned deep inside of him as he saw her with Wentzel again…what would happen now? Tony's house would go up in flames and she'd be the only one left in it?

As Wentzel leaned into kiss her, Jay stood up from his position on the porch banister, crushing his plastic beer cup in his hand. If he could change the way things were now, he would.

"What are you doing?" It was Pippa that leaned back, taking a few steps away from Wentzel and answering one of his rushed prayers.

"I thought there'd been something going on between us." Even with the hurt and confusion in his friend's voice, Jay couldn't help but smile. _You were wrong…she doesn't love you…_But Pippa's silence stopped his thoughts. The effort she was making to not look him in the eye and the slight blush that painted her cheeks gleaming in the moonlight made him have second thoughts. "Was I moving too fast?"

"Just a little." Her voice had a bit of ice in it and Jay's grin got slightly smaller. What if she'd been thinking that when he kissed her? It had been out of the blue….

"Hey Jay." Kathy's arms were slipping around his waist and his eyes turned to her as she slid in front of him. At first, Stacy and she had been going out for a bit…but before they'd started skating down Bicknell Hill, Jay had easily gotten that mess sorted out…but after he'd seen her with another boy at the more popular beach, their dating status had gone out the window.

"Kathy." He nodded curtly, feeling in no mood to flirt with an ex. "Having fun?"

"Could be having more." Tony's sister grinned and slid her hand around his neck, pulling him towards her. Wentzel had disappeared as he got a quick glimpse of Pippa standing by herself and he pushed Kathy off of him, shaking his head. "Come on Jayboy. You know you want it."

"Not anymore." He growled as he came up behind Pippa, grabbing both of her arms and starting to pull her towards the side of the house. "I need to talk to you."

"Jay!"

"Shouldn't you be getting back to Mike?" Proud of his comeback, Jay turned to Pippa as he jumped over the side railing. "I got you."

"You always do." She smiled as she hopped into his outstretched arms, her feet brushing against the ground before he let her down. Kathy was at the side now, glaring at the two of them with an estranged passion.

"I loved you Jay Adams!" She cried and he realized the drunkenness in her voice. Raising a hand to her, he threw a rather rude hand gesture at her before walking with Pippa down the small side alley.

……

"Okay. What's up?" Pippa knew her voice was dripped in worry, but she didn't care. Jay's abrupt behavior and the direction he'd come in made her wonder if he'd seen her and Wentzel on the porch. _I really hope you didn't…_

"I saw you with Wentz back there." He was leaning against the other house's side, the small crack only being somewhere near two meters apart. "Anything going on with you guys?"

"No…" She said, turning her head away from his curious eyes. Jay had always been her first call…the first person she'd told everything to. Even she and her mother didn't have the closeness she and Jay shared. "I dunno…why? Would it bother you?"

"Damn it, Pippa." He said, his words almost coming in a laugh. "Of course it would." A moment of silence washed through them and they spent it staring at each other, as if they were trying to resolve everything by staring. "Don't…just don't…"

He was having trouble speaking, something that rarely happened with Jay Adams. He walked forward, taking both of her hands in his.

"Jay…what?" Pippa said, though she already knew what was coming. "Jay?"


	3. Don't Lie

Chapter 3: Don't Lie 

a/n: Thank you to my good friend Ellen, who helped me write this chapter. Thanks a bunch Ellie! Warning, this chapter contains very sensitive topics. Read at own risk.

"_Jay…what?" Pippa said, though she already knew what was coming. "Jay?"_

His brown eyes were pouring into hers, sending deep shivers up and down her spine. If there was one thing Jay Adams was good at in life, it was convincing her to do things. And Pippa knew only too well what he was going to try and convince her to do next.

"Don't go after Wentz, Pip." She bit her lip as Jay's voice drowned in pleading, his hands grasping hers tightly. "He's not the right type of guy for you…"

"How do you know what the right type of guy for me is, Jay?" Pippa sighed, raising her eyebrows as the slight remorse of letting herself say that hit her. Jay was her best friend, and if anyone knew who would be the type of person for her, it would be him…so why was she being so defensive? "I'm sorry Jay."

Jay took in a sharp breath, as if he was going to say something else, but before he could, a large bang shook the wall she was leaning on, and directed their attention to the house.

"Well, someone popped a speaker." She smiled, trying to lighten the mood. But Jay was soon staring at her again and she frowned, biting her lip.

"You're right…I don't know what type of guys you go for." He said quietly. "I was just hoping that I did." Quickly, he leaned in and pecked her on the lips, pulling away just as fast and walking down the alley.

As she watched his retreating back, Pippa cursed, kicking the wall behind her with her heel. She couldn't handle the subject of guys and love triangles right now…one more thing, and she would end up drowning in a pool of her own confusion.

……

"Thanks for the ride Stace. I'll see you Z-boys tomorrow."

Climbing out of the front seat of Stacy's car, Pippa turned back to wave to Stacy and Sid, who were both grinning at her from his old Ford. Sticking his head out of the back window, a very stoned Sid grinned at her.

"Goodnight, beautiful!" He shouted as Stacy began to drive off, pulling onto the deserted street and disappearing in the dusk. Pippa watched them go as far as Zippo's Gas Station before turning to the rickety stairs that led up to her apartment. Usually when she came home from Tony's parties, Jay was with her when she got home…but tonight was different. When Stacy offered her the ride home, she hadn't been able to find him anywhere she looked.

"Now where did I put my keys?" She sighed as she reached the top level, hitting her arm on the rusted railing when she started to rummage through her purse. "Shit…that hurt." As she walked down the dark balcony, she paused at number 11, glancing at it with a slightly hurt expression. _Where are you Jay?_

Finally feeling the cold metal of her apartment key, Pippa stopped short in front of number 12, staring at the window as she pulled out her key. The lights weren't on, making the sheer curtains that covered the window glow with a certain dullness. Sliding the key into the lock, she quickly looked at her watch. **2:15** and her mom still wasn't home? A wave of worry and dread washed over her as she turned the key, opening the door and pushing her way into her apartment.

Silence met her when she closed the door, shoving her keys back into her purse after a few seconds, securing her notion about her mother. Where was she? There was hardly ever a car accident or fire in Santa Monica, at least around this area. But there was a lot of shootings…

"Crap…" Pippa said, her voice shaking as she turned on the kitchen light. "Okay…calm down Pippa. You would've known by now if something happened…Philaine would've come to talk to you…"

Her own words were calming her down, but she still needed the reassurance that everything was okay. And Jay was usually the one to do that for her.

"Jay…" She sighed, throwing her purse on the counter. She couldn't be feeling the way she was…especially about her best friend. They were exact opposites, as different as anyone could be, but as close as anyone could get. And yet, in her heart, Pippa knew she would probably have a better chance with Sid than she ever would with Jay.

……

As the boiling water holding the noodles hissed, she wiped off the tears running down her cheeks. Checking to make sure the sauce she was cooking wasn't boiling over, she tried to ignore her growling stomach. The last meal she'd eaten was a plate of pancakes this morning seeing as the painkillers she'd taken had killed her appetite at the same time, so after going through many dishes, Pippa had decided to make spaghetti.

"Mom loves spaghetti." She reminded herself as she checked the noodles. She was at breaking point. And after all these years, Jay's conclusion was coming true…she was going crazy. Not that she couldn't help it…life was too overwhelming sometimes.

The steam hit her face and made it damp as she poured the noodle-filled water into the strainer in the sink. _If I have enough left over, I'll bring it over to Philaine and Donnie and Jay…_

"Hey sweetheart." Wiping another tear off her cheek quickly, Pippa turned around in excitement as her mother came walking into the apartment, shutting the door behind her and sighing deeply. "Sorry I'm home so late…I had work at the office, then Harley took me out."

"Harley?" The name didn't sound familiar at all and she caught the blush her mother smiled before she answered.

"He's a friend from work. We went out for a bit, that's all." Amy smiled at her and Pippa tried smiling back as the scratches lining her back stung when she leaned against the fridge. "You're making spaghetti?"

"Yeah." Turning around and picking up the strainer, she emptied the noodles into the pot on the stove and turned the sauce's element off. "I thought we could have dinner…you know, have a late night supper and talk. Like we used to."

"Oh baby," Her mother sighed and came up to her, dropping her bag on one of the chairs. "I love you so much." Pippa grinned, turning back to the cupboard to get out plates.

"I don't know if we have any Parmesan cheese, but I can see if we do-"

"Harley took me out on a date, Pip." The blonde's hand tightened on the stove handle and she felt another tear slide down her cheek. She'd known, and she'd known she would be stupid to hope it wasn't true. "For dinner…then back to his place…I'm assuming you don't want to know the rest."

"Good guess." Pippa sniffed and Amy's hand fell on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry hunny. I know I should've left a note or something…but it was really sudden and out of no where."

"Okay." The spaghetti suddenly wasn't very appealing and she decided to give all of it to Philaine, Donnie and Jay…she knew how very rarely their family got a meal that didn't involve frozen fish sticks. Her mother's arms fell around her shoulders and she winced when she hugged her tightly.

"I think I'm going to go to bed now baby. I've got a rather early shift tomorrow…thank you for the thought though." Amy's smile was tired as she kissed her daughter's cheek, ruffling her hair as she did. "Goodnight sweetheart."

Pippa watched her mother staggered off to her bedroom tiredly, trying to bite back tears of frustration as her scratches burned.

……

**Knock, knock, knock.**

Loud raps interrupted Philaine's sleep, and she moaned in response, covering her head with her pillow. For the first time in nights, she'd been able to fall asleep peacefully…and now an unwelcome guest was interrupting her sleep?

**Knock, knock, knock-**

"Okay! I'm coming!" She yelled and from beside her, Donnie groaned, grabbing her waist and trying to pull her back into bed.

"Don't go baby…just stay in bed. They'll go away eventually." But as the third round of knocking sounded, Philaine had already pulled the covers off of her body. "Philly…come back…"

She stumbled past Jay's room and for a moment cringed at the powder blue walls that lined her house. They looked terrible in 3 a.m. light, and her groggy eyes made it no better for her to see them. _Once I can afford paint…_

Her hand reached the doorknob and she twisted it, opening the door and coming face to face with Pippa. Smiling worriedly, the young blonde girl standing in front of her held out a dish.

"Hi Philaine…I'm really sorry to be knocking on your door at this time of night, but-"

"Oh no," Philaine sighed, waving her hand in the air tiredly. "I was up."

"Oh…okay." In all the years she'd known the young girl, she'd come to realize that worrying her was the wrong thing to do in all situations. And even if her hair was ratty, the bags under her eyes were even more exaggerated, and she couldn't see properly, she would pretend to have been up for hours just to give the girl some peace of mind. "I made you spaghetti."

"Pippa! You didn't have to…really." But none the less, the warm, clay dish was pushed into her hands. "Is this just because?"

"Well…I hadn't eaten yet so I made some dinner for me and mom…" Pippa trailed off and Philaine turned slightly, setting the dish on the counter. "Did you know about Harley?"

"All about him." The glimmer of tears in her eyes couldn't be missed and Philaine started to reach out to Pippa. But the girl shook her head, taking a step backward. "You know that you don't have to be strong Pip."

"I know." She smiled shakily, crossing her arms. "Is Jay home?"

The faint slam of a door in the back round would mean nothing to anyone but her…Jay was home…and why was he sneaking in?

"I didn't hear him come in, sweetheart." Philaine sighed. "Do you want me to tell him to go over when he gets home?"

"No. That's alright." Pippa began to turn around, smiling at Philaine as she did. She loved the girl like the daughter she'd never had and knew that Amy's behavior was killing Pippa's thoughts and dreams. "I hope you enjoy the spaghetti."

"We will. Thanks for bringing it over, Dolly." Her blonde hair bounced in the wind as she walked back to her apartment, Philaine watching her go with resentful eyes.

……

"Shit, mom. Next time you want to scare me to death, let me know, okay?"

Jay glared at his mom as he nursed his stubbed toe, the result of her barging into his room. He had taken a different route home from Tony's party, leaving slightly after Pippa had left with Sid and Stacy.

"Sorry baby." Philaine sighed, tugging her silk robe around her more. "How was the party?"

_The party completed one of the most horrifying days of my life…what does it look like?_

"It was okay." Jay mumbled, stripping off his flannel shirt and wincing as it rubbed against his bleeding elbow. When Pippa had left, he'd been relieved she hadn't seen him _accidentally_ elbow Wentzel. Unfortunately, Wentzel's hand that he'd been carrying his skateboard in had been what his elbow had hit.

"Oh baby…what happened to your arm?"

"Nothing." He growled and Philaine looked taken aback before nodding. "Sorry mom. I'm just…tired, that's all. Had a rough day." She nodded, walking over and sitting on the bed beside him.

"Pippa was just here…I was surprised you didn't come home with her." Her name made his stomach flip and he raised his eyebrows, shrugging. "Something going on between you two?"

"No." Jay answered just a bit too quickly, covering it up with a small grin. "She was tired…so she left earlier."

"Right." Philaine set an arm around him and kissed his forehead, sighing as she did. "You might want to go over there…she seemed really upset."

"Really?" His voice had an attachment of hope to it, but from the way his mom was frowning, Jay knew it wasn't because of him. "I'll head over there after I uh…get cleaned up."

……

She stumbled forward as she let out a sob, clutching onto the letters in her hands, feeling the paper crinkle beneath her touch. Jay, her best friend, hadn't been home when she needed him the most, the letters from the school she went to every second day had started showing up again…and her mother had been lying to her. About Harley…about her work situation…about the rent…and about her father.

Chris Vardon had left a young Pippa and her mother 14 years ago. According to her mother and Philaine, he had sent the previously signed divorce papers and custody papers, entitling her mother to complete custody over Pippa. But the letters she was clutching in her hands proved that wrong…and everything else wrong.

According to all the handwritten letters that were strewn around her on the living room desk, her father had been battling to see Pippa…but her mother had been stubborn and not wanted him to have anything to do with his daughter. One of the most chilling sentences her mother had written was very shaky and the page was splattered with tears…

_**How dare you even ask me for that after you left us! Do you understand that Chris? You left me and Pippa for a perfect life in paradise…Venice was never good enough for you…you left us behind in your old life…we were the ones that weren't good enough for you. **_

Wiping the tears from her cheeks, Pippa grimaced in pain as the sadness welled inside of her as she read the last of the chilling letter her father had sent only a few days earlier.

_**You think you're safe, don't you Amy? I know all about you…where you work, what apartment you live in, the number…everything about you and Pippa. I even know what school she's been going to…you'd better watch out…she could not come home from school one day…gone forever. I can't believe you're still living beside that good for nothing…**_

She stopped reading when he'd began to curse Philaine…how could he be so cruel? Her mother had always told her about what a sweetheart Chris had been…staying with her when she'd gotten pregnant at 16 years old. When her parents had kicked her out…how he'd let her stay with him, how he'd made sure she got what she needed…

And now, to Pippa…he was the cruelest person in the world.

Goosebumps littered her arms and she cried even harder because of the t-shirt she was wearing. It did her no good to be sitting here…no good whatsoever. She might of just as well drowned today…and she would've…if it hadn't been for him…

Jay…her best friend. Causing her heart to break, even when he wanted to mend it. But he was just tearing it down the middle, apologizing every time he ripped just a little more.

"Screw it." Pippa growled, gathering the letters and placing them in the neat pile they'd come in. She couldn't let her mother know that she'd been reading them…not when she was so happy now. And Pippa was angry…so angry. But she couldn't let her mother down by being the person her father was. "You can keep that secret mom…and that bit of my heart."

Stumbling to the bathroom, Pippa ran a hand through her silky blonde hair, her eyes stinging from the tears that had momentarily stopped falling down her face. Turning the light on in the small, blue tiled bathroom, she grabbed and elastic and bunched her hair up to the top of her head, securing it in a messy excuse for a bun as she did.

Staring at her reflection, she wiped her cheeks free of tears and straightened up, meeting her gray eyes. Her bloodshot gray eyes that reflected more of her than she knew…

"I hate you." She whispered tearfully to her reflection. Noticing her arms, she held them up in front of her and turned them around. The back was a perfect layer of pale skin, her blonde arm hair making gold shots across it. The veins underneath her delicate skin shone blue and purple and she ran her finger down the middle of her arm.

"I won't be perfect any longer." Pippa breathed, turning towards the bathroom cabinet and shakily taking out the pair of hair trimmers her mother had. They were sharp enough…

Poising the cold metal against the back of her skin, she pulled it into and across her wrist, wincing and crying out pain as it made a scar of blood. And even as the blood poured out of her slit, she felt…a rush. A pain that reflected her own pain…something that showed the world that she, Pippa Vardon, was not the perfect angel everyone thought her up to be.

Which is why she made an identical mark underneath it. It was smaller, but with the pain they both conjured up, it washed away her thoughts and filled her with a rush…

"Pippa?" A knock came from the front door and she jumped, dropping the trimming scissors with a clang. "Pip, are you there?" It was Jay…the pain throbbed again and she felt tears leak out from the corners of her eyes. She needed bandages…she couldn't let Jay see…she couldn't let anyone see.

"One second!" She called as calmly and as quietly as she could. With a trembling hand, Pippa found the gauze bandage and the wrap, bandaging her arm as quickly as she could. The pain was incredible…but numbing.

Another rap came from the door and she remembered Jay.

"He can't see me like this." She hissed, throwing the bandages and the scissors into her drawer. In a few minutes she'd found a sweater and had thrown it on, making her way to the door and opening it slowly.

Jay was standing in front of it, his hands shoved into his pockets as he stared at her with his deep brown eyes. He knew something was wrong…Philaine had probably told him that.

"Pippa…" He said, and she looked down at the ground, suddenly feeling guilty about the bleeding scars on her arm. If anyone had a worse life than she did, it was Jay. And he'd never done anything to hurt himself…he's just taken it out on skateboarding and surfing. Just like a normal person would do.

She didn't even realize that she was crying…and she didn't until Jay had wrapped his arms around her, kissing her forehead and just letting her rest her head on his neck.

"Are you okay?"

She let out a sob and shook her head, slinking her arms around his waist and pulling him closer to her.

"A-are you okay?" She stuttered and she heard the hesitation in his voice.

"I'm fine." He sighed and she leaned back to whisper one thing into his ear.

"Don't lie, Jayboy. Don't lie."


	4. I'll Be Seeing You

Chapter 4: I'll Be Seeing You 

"_Don't lie, Jayboy. Don't lie."_

He opened his eyes, feeling fully awake for the first time in days as he did. For a second, he tried to remember where he was…and who was lying on his chest. But as soon as he saw the high ceiling and the colorful crate paper flower and heart chain hanging over the bed, he knew. And he remembered.

Pippa had completely crashed last night after the party. She hadn't told him everything, but after she was sitting on the floor of the bathroom, throwing up the remains of her last meal and some of the mysterious punch that had been at Tony's party, she'd been too tired to tell him anything else. So he'd carried her into her bedroom, chose her favorite childhood story out of her small book shelf, and lay with her on her bed, reading the soft and worn pages of _Snow White and the Seven Dwarves_.

And now she was asleep on his chest, her arm draped around his middle as he lay beside her, stroking her long blonde hair. The window was open and blowing a gentle breeze into the room, making it slightly chilly for his blanketless body. He shifted to try and get under the blanket with Pippa, but she just moaned moving her head and burying her face deeper in his chest.

"Mmmm…" She mumbled, clenching her fingers together and gathering a bundle of his shirt in her hand. Finally pulling himself under the blanket, he rubbed her back, shivering.

"Pip, I'm sorry for waking you up, but while you slept nice and warm under this parka, I was freezing cold." Jay tugged on her large sleeve, laughing as she drifted in and out of sleep. And as he made to set her sleeve back down on her hand, he saw something on the back of her wrist.

_A bandage? _He thought, gently lifting her hand and turning it around. The gauze strip was tied against her wrist in a cloth, two small specks of blood tainting the white material. _What did she do?_

"What's this?" Jay whispered, putting his head on top of hers as he continued to stare at the bandage. "Pippa…Pip…wake up."

"Hmmm? What?" She mumbled, rubbing her head against his chest, wisps of blonde hair tickling his face. Jay rubbed his hand up and down the bandage, occasionally sliding off its surface and touching her skin. He was constantly flirting with her…and he wasn't sure if she knew it or not.

"This…bandage. What's it for?" Pippa took in a sleepy yawn and raised her head. Turning to try and look at him, she blinked tiredly before taking her arm away from him.

"It's for nothing…I just scraped myself when I was making dinner last night…that's all."

"Pippa…" He sighed, resting his head on hers. "Are you lying to me?" Her voice had been hesitant, as if she was thinking of something to say instead of telling him the truth.

"Hmm?" She mumbled and Jay sighed again, shaking his head as he did. She would never tell him if she was lying to him…which is what scared him about her.

"Never mind." He kissed her head softly and decided to leave that as his last words on the matter. He loved her more than life itself…but he hardly believed that she'd scraped herself while cooking a pot of spaghetti.

……

"Do you want to go to session today, Pip?" After she'd showered, Jay had dragged her out of the house in attempt to make her feel better when all she really wanted to do was stay home and sleep all day. But when Jay Adams became determined…he always got his way. "How about me and you just hang at a pool all day? Or we could go to Bicknell…or-"

"Jay." She interrupted, smiling at him. Her hair was blowing in the breeze, occasionally dipping in front of her face and blocking her eyes' view. "I don't really feel like doing…anything."

"We could go to the pipes…and you could watch me skate? How about that?" Pippa let out a laugh again, leaning against his arm as they walked down the main street of Santa Monica, in the rougher area of town, as most would call it. Or in other words, Dogtown.

"That sounds g-"

"Chica!" She couldn't finish her sentence as the Mexican scoundrel, Tony Alva, whose toned arms were suddenly wrapped around her middle quickly lifted her off her feet. "You're alive!"

"She won't be for that much longer if you don't let her go, T.A." Stacy's calm voice called out to him as the blonde landed beside them, mastering his 360 signature move.

"Yeah, Peralta's right Tony. Let her go."

Pippa, who had been collected into Tony's arms bride style, looked at Jay with worried eyes as Tony smirked cheekily.

"Alright." Flinging her into the air, Jay lunged his arms forward to catch her in time, a chunk of blonde hair flying into his face as he did. Giggling, she threw her arms around his shoulders and set her head against his, laughing.

"I like this **way** better than walking." She sighed, swinging her feet back and forth. Jay laughed, kissing her cheek quickly as Sid, the last to join their group, skated up towards them. Pippa watched the awkward boy almost fall as he tried to attempt the same move as Stacy had just mastered. Seconds later, he was on the ground, his brown eyes glistening with the humor of a failed trick. The boys laughed and Jay, who still had an armful of Pippa, nodded towards him.

"Stace, help him up. Sid, when you're up, grab my board. Looks like I'm carrying the princess to our next destination."

……

"Do that one again Jay."

He smiled, carefully obliging as he pushed off the bottom of the pool, riding up against the side and jumping him and his board off the top rim of the pool and letting himself drop back into the pool and sliding back down to the bottom.

Pippa's joyful laugh was enough of a reward for him as he skated back over to where she, Sid, Tony, and Stacy were gathered, watching him with appreciative eyes as Stacy lined up to be the next person to go. He felt Sid slap him on the back as Jay took a seat in front of he and Pippa, shivering when her hands touched his bare back. He'd gotten rid of his T-shirt long ago, even though there had been an amazing breeze today. He just felt used to the feel of the wind draping his naked torso by now.

"You did a really good job Jayboy. Really good." Her hands were resting on his shoulders and he leaned his head over to kiss one of her hands, but Sid interrupted him.

"Yah man, that was totally gnarly." The enthusiastic boy laughed, sitting down beside him and Jay sent a blank stare back to Pippa, who just smiled before turning back to watch Stacy. "You were totally ripping it up-"

"Thanks man." Jay cut in, smiling at Sid. "Now I want to see you doing some of that stuff, alright? Get practicing." The excitement lining his brown eyes made Jay get a soar of accomplishment. Other than being with Pippa and skating, nothing pleased him more than inspiring Sid Columbino, a boy he had come to love and protect like a little brother. Seconds later, Sid had jumped up with his board to go try and ride the sides of the wall, Tony coming to his aid when he almost failed landing an ollie.

"He loves you, Jay." Pippa sighed when he stood up and turned to her, his hands gingerly circling her waist. Leaning his forehead against her, he let his words come out of his mouth slowly, each one meaning something in his mind.

"And do you, Pip? Do you…_love me_?" He leaned into kiss her, his lips only brushing hers before a loud crash hit the pathway leading to the pool. They both turned their heads, still wrapped up in an embrace as Wentzel's back angrily made his way out of the pool, pushing past a clueless Red Dog and Peggy.

"_Shit."_

……

"Wentz!" Pippa ran after him, her bare feet slapping against the road's pavement as she ran after the blonde boy who was skating away from the scene. She'd always been a great runner, and soon she found herself right on his tail. "Wentzel, please stop. I need to talk to you!"

"And what, Pippa! Tell me about your relationship with Jay! Don't worry about it, I already knew!" He yelled angrily as he kept on skating away. _He's not going to stop…I'm just going to have to **make **him stop. _

"Ahh!" She screamed as she 'tripped' over her own feet, falling down onto the pavement and skillfully sticking her hands out in front of her to break her fall. When the scrape of his board's wheels met his ears, Pippa smiled quickly before keeping a straight face and rolling over onto her side. "Owww…"

"Pip! Pippa, are you alright?" Soon he was beside her, kneeling down, allowing his hand to touch her arm gently. She looked up at him, a piece of her long, layered blonde hair falling in front of her face as she feigned a look of slight pain as he helped her get up.

"Yeah…I'm fine…I just left my shoes back at the pool." Pippa laughed as she looked down at her bare feet, brushing her hair out of her face as she still held one of his hands. "Wentz…can we please just talk about this? Please?" The blonde boy looked her square in the eye and let out a sigh, looking down at the ground as he tried to walk away.

"I really like you…if you hadn't noticed, Pippa. I **_really_ **do." She wouldn't let him leave and he turned around, looking her in the eye.

"Okay…let's talk about this a bit more."

"I'm done with talking, Pippa." He muttered, and she yanked his hand back, making him stumbled back towards her. He didn't understand things…and he needed to before he left. "Pip…"

"Please Wentz." She sighed and he shrugged, trying to start speaking several times before he sighed in frustration, coming closer to her.

"Ah, screw it." His lips had barely been on hers for a second before she snapped backwards, letting out a gasp.

"I meant talking…not-" Wentzel lifted his hand and let his fingers stop her from talking.

"No…just don't say anything. Not now." Pippa let out a sigh as he leaned in again, letting him kiss her gently, before in confusion, she returned it. And while she stood there, kissing Wentzel, all that was filling her mind, running through her blood, and filling her heart was…**_Jay._**

……

He stood there and he felt as if a bullet had hit him square in the head. And he only wished it had…Pippa was standing much as she had been several minutes ago with him, only it was in the arms of Wentzel…and they were much farther into the embrace than he wished he had been. Jay clutched onto her shoes mercilessly, turning and grabbing his skateboard off the ground, running over to the sidewalk where he was safely hidden by several cars before kicking off the pavement.

Had she thought those sweet kisses they'd shared meant nothing? Had she thought he was just happy she hadn't died? _Obviously Jay…she was just screwing with you and going behind your back with Wentz…he obviously is so much more than you are…_

"Stop it." He told his mind angrily, wiping away a hot tear that had been trickling down his face. He was angry…and he needed to make the pain go away.

Jay had distinctly remembered buying a twelve pack of beers for his mom…to which she'd only drunk about four. That meant there was still eight left for his own self pity streak…then he'd go and get in a fight club, beat up some guy and feel a lot better.

_No, you won't Jay. _A voice that sounded much like Pippa's rang in his head and he angrily slammed her shoes down on the ground, leaving them in the middle of the sidewalk.

"Yes, I will."

……

Pippa woke up from her slumber on her couch confused and dazed as the music of Jimmy Durante filled her apartment. She'd grown up listening to the classic singer, her mother always playing it…Jay hated it, so he said, but she loved it and often found it calmed her down when she needed it. And she needed it now more than ever.

Mom was out with Harley again, and they'd had a fight about the letters…her letters. Her mom had said they didn't matter…and they'd been written a long time ago. But when Pippa had brandished the date on the letters at her, she'd walked out the door. Not knowing what else to do, she'd taken off her bandage to reveal two thin red lines dotting her tanned arm. And while she stared at them, she felt a sense of guilt, but also a sense of accomplishment. She'd gotten away with something…and no one knew about it. It could be her little secret. That's why she'd walked to the bathroom again, and created another line…this time father up her arm to make it harder to see. Jay had been suspicious…but then again, they'd been half asleep. With luck, he'd forgotten about it.

"Jay." She sighed as she woke up, hugging the pillow she'd grabbed closer to her stomach as she relished the pain of her choices. Both physical…and emotional. "Jay…"

Pippa began to nod off again as her favorite song, _I'll Be Seeing You_, began to strum from the record player. And that's when she heard the dull knock come from the door.

The blonde opened her eyes slowly, fearing what would be behind the door when she opened it. If it were Wentzel, she'd probably invite him in and tell him the truth…she didn't like him as more than a friend. No matter how much he was in love with her…she couldn't do that to him. She couldn't ruin their friendship. If it were her mother, she'd probably return to the couch and wrap her blanket around her body again, laying her head down as she began to talk about Harley before remembering the fight they'd been in before she left. And if it was Jay…she didn't know what she'd do.

"Please…don't be Jay…I can handle anyone but Jay right now…" She sighed, running a hand through her hair and wrapping her other arm around her middle as she walked slowly to the door, trying to ignore the loud and dragging knocks coming from it.

It seemed as if she unlocked the locks, turned the door handle, and opened the door in slow motion, like they did in the movies. And when she saw the person standing there, what she thought would've filled her with confusion and tiredness filled her with sadness and hurt. Jay was leaning against the doorframe in front of her, a large scrape on the top of his head letting blood run down his face freely while he nursed a bruised cheek. His eyes were watering and hazy, and Pippa realized before long that he was drunk…or more than likely getting over the effects of being drunk.

"Pippa?" He moaned, looking at her through half closed eyes. "Pip…" He trailed off as he stumbled into her apartment, falling over himself and falling on her. By instinct, Pippa caught him quickly, gasping as she tried to hold his weight up against hers.

……

"What were you doing in a fight, Jayboy?" She laid him down on the couch when he'd come to, watching her with intensity as she got bandages, peroxide, a cloth and water to fix him up. It looked like he'd been smashed over the head with a beer bottle, some glass still sticking into his hair.

"I was fighting for you." Pippa looked up at him with raised eyebrows as she dipped the cloth into the hot water, kneeling beside him on the floor by the couch to wipe the blood off his face. _I'll Be Seeing You _was still playing in the background, seeing as she'd kept on setting it back. It reminded her of better and simpler times…she needed that to help Jay right now.

"I loovee this song." He sighed, playing with a lock of her hair as she took the piece of glass out of his cut. He didn't sound drunk…but he was acting like it and she could smell it on his breath. "Damn it Pippa! Fu-ugh…that hurts like a bitch!"

"Well it's not my fault you got into a fight." Pippa growled, rolling her eyes as she washed the blood from his face. A silence passed over them as the song kept on playing, it's romantic lyrics floating through the air. "You didn't…get in a fight with Wentz, did you?"

"I wish I could've…I saw that fag makin' out with you…I wanted to kill him. I wanted to break a beer bottle over _his _head." He continued to toy with a piece of her long honey blonde hair as she cleaned of the last of his blood off his face, reaching over for the peroxide as she felt a wave of guilt wash over her.

"Okay…as much as I don't want to hurt you Jay…" She grimaced as she held the peroxide filled cloth against his cut, making him howl in pain. "Sorry."

"Shit!" He yelled and she took the cloth away, throwing it into the bowl of water she'd brought with her and standing up. "I thought you said you didn't want to hurt me!"

"_I_ didn't. But the peroxide did…it gets rid of infection, Jay." Pippa walked around the couch and the many scratches Stacy and Peggy had helped her clean and care for after the accident stung. Along with the ones she'd created herself…"Trust me, it could be a lot worse."

"You don't even know half of it." He mumbled, letting out a long sigh and Pippa paused as she reached the kitchen, turning back to look at him. He was still drunk…and she couldn't talk some sense into him if he wasn't sobered up.

"Jay?" She said quietly as she put the dish into the sink, leaning against the counter for support. She needed to know if…if anything he'd ever done had meant something other than flirting.

"Uh...yeah?" Pippa walked over to the coffeepot, where fresh coffee had been brewed around twenty minutes previously…just before her mother had walked out the door to meet Harley. She let the music of Jimmy Durante play through the room, through the spaces, and through the silence they were currently enduring. She watched as she steam flew up through the top of the pot, pouring itself into the cup and swirling with the black liquid and squandering back up to the top as it filled the mug.

"Wentz asked me out to the movies tonight." Pippa said it quickly, almost as if she was asking her mom to stay out past her curfew. She heard him sigh angrily, sitting up in the couch as she turned around with the coffee in her hands.

"And you said yess, a' course…" He sighed, a touch of a slur hitting his voice. She felt a tinge of a smile hit her mouth as she walked over to him, setting the coffee into his hands as she climbed onto the couch with him.

"What did you expect me to say?" Jay frowned at the coffee, looking up at her as he avoided the question.

"S' for me?" He asked, glaring even more so when she nodded, and almost spitting it out when he sipped it. "This is sick."

"It'll make you better…" Pippa muttered as she watched him down the mug of coffee, several drips of it running down his chin as he did.

"You mean, it'll sober me up." Jay replied as he set the mug down on the coffee table, unfortunately missing the tabletop entirely. It let out a dull thump as it fell on the horrible carpet floor, a drop of coffee falling onto the cream rug. "Aww, shit."

"Oh no, I got it Jay."

"No, Pip, it's totally my fault-"

They both paused as their hands fell on top of each other when they leaned over to grab the mug, their heads almost hitting each other as they looked up. His cheeks went red, and so did hers, eyes locking on eyes for a second.

"Shit…this hurts." Jay laughed sadly, gently touching his head when they'd both leaned up, forgetting about the coffee cup on the floor in embarrassment.

"Well, it's your own fault you got in a fight." Pippa sucked in a deep breath, knowing she was getting herself angry. "If you had just come to talk to me, and calmed down, you wouldn't have all those damn cuts all over yo-"

"Stop it, Pippa…" He interrupted her, and she stopped in shock of his words. He was _crying_. Jay Adams was sitting in her living room crying, the utter pain on his face shining through in his sobs. "Wh-hy c-can't I g-get h-hurt-t by so-someone e-el-else, but y-you can h-hurt yo-yourself-f?"

Pippa felt her insides well up with guilt, her eyes stinging with tears. And as much as she wanted to push away what Jay had said, she couldn't get it out of her mind. He was right…that she was allowed to hurt herself, while he wasn't allowed to get in fights and get roughed up by someone else?

"I…I'm sorry Jay." She said, shaking as she leaned over to him, trying to wrap her arms around him. "I'm so sorry…" His hands fell down on her shoulders and began to travel up and down her neck, his fingertips brushing her face gently as he pulled her towards him. Pippa tried not to hurt the both of them as she hugged him, running her fingers through his hair.

"Pippa…I…I…I love you." He whispered, kissing her head. Inside, she felt her guilt turn into warm fuzz, or something of the sort. All she could feel was her body burning with an incredible heat that hadn't been caused by a hot flash or something...but by his words. "I love you _so much_."

……

The first kiss from her had been enough of a reward for finally getting over his fear of rejection. He, Jay Adams, had feared rejection…from his best friend? He kissed her back, smiling as the tears continued to dry on his cheeks. How could he have been so stupid as to think she didn't love him back?

"Jay." Pippa gasped as they pulled apart from each other. "I'm so sorry…I just wanted you to know that I…I…"

"I know." He kissed her gently, pulling her back to him. "I know, Pip." He wanted her…and some could call it lust, or desire or whatever…but it was raw passion that was driving Jay Adams over the edge.

"I love you too." She whispered, smiling as she ducked back down to him, running a hand through his hair. It seemed like an eternity that they just sat there kissing, but at the same time, it seemed like a second had passed when she pulled back from him, glancing at the time. "I have to go Jay."

"No." He moaned, capturing her hand as she tried to get up, pulling her back to him. He couldn't let her go…not to _him_. "Stay here instead…with me…"

She sighed, shaking her head as she straightened up and bent down to kiss him again, the long tips of her blonde hair brushing his face as she did.

"I've got to go…if I don't, then Wentz-"

"Will forget about you. And then…me and you can be together." He wanted, no, needed her to stay with him. If she didn't go, the rejection would be easier for Wentz to handle. At least…that's how Kathy had gotten rid of him. But Pippa knew better and he frowned as she shook her head, beginning to walk away as she held his hand loosely in hers.

"Jayboy, that's horrible. I couldn't do that to Wentz…we are friends you know."

"Yeah," Jay said quietly, pulling her closer to the couch. She was trying to slip away romantically…and that meant that he would have to capture her romantically. "But me and you are _lovers._"

"Lovers, now are we?" She smiled, her bare knees hitting the couch as she kneeled down beside his body. She was wearing those little jean shorts that showed off her long, strong muscle built tanned legs…the ones that he loved. Her hands found both of his hands and she smiled down at him, her eyes twinkling. "I guess…I could stay…"

"That's my girl."

……

Wentzel sighed as he got up from the seat he'd taken on the bench outside the Movie Theater. The movie itself had started an hour ago, but he'd known long before then that she wasn't coming. He'd been so stupid to actually believe she would.

But he liked her so much and his heart ached to know she was probably with Jay…her real lover. Tony had told him to forget about her several times already…and he hadn't listened. And now, Wentzel Ruml wished he had more than ever.

But Pippa hadn't seemed like the type of girl to lead him on like she did…no…that must've been Jayboy. He knew too well that Jay had been in love with Pippa from the first moment he realized he could love, which was long before he'd ever met the two of them. Maybe he had been interfering when he had fallen head over heels for the blonde Dogtown princess. Yet who could help it…she was just so 'charming' and the long blonde locks definitely helped her win over hearts.

_Maybe it was just lust?_ He thought as he walked over to the trashcan, tossing in the white rose he'd bought for her. _Or maybe…maybe it was something more. _


	5. Let Me Explain

**Incomplete**

Chapter 5: Let Me Explain

**a/n: Let me start off by saying I'm so sorry for not updating sooner! I kind of lost focus on this story, and thanks to the amazing new Nickelback song, Far Away, I started thinking about it again. Ergo, I am inspired to write the newest chapter of Incomplete. We're halfway to the end, or something around there…I hope you enjoy it!**

….

He shifted, his arms moving slowly around her waist as he did. The mere movement gave her skin goosebumps, his warm arms sliding against the bit of skin that her shirt had slid down to reveal. He'd been asleep for what seemed like hours now. But she…she had been awake the entire time. Pippa's mind couldn't stop running, no matter how hard she tried to calm down and think about something else. Wentzel Ruml was her friend, a good friend at that. He was a brother to her, and she thought she had felt something more…yet she had just stood him up. Pippa remained still in Jay's embrace, toying with a piece of her long blonde hair. Wentz had seemed so nervous when he'd asked her. That had probably been the first time he'd really asked a girl out instead of hooking up at a party.

_You're ruining the moment Pippa. You know why you stayed. _She knew she had stayed because of boy lying behind her. They were back on her living room couch while the sun set outside and the wind blew in through the open window. His arms held her middle tight, and he was breathing in the scent of her neck. If at any other time Jay Adams had done this to Pippa, she would have swooned. She would have run to tell Peggy about it and they'd both gush and giggle and glance at Jay when he wasn't looking at the pier or at a party. He had had to choose now to barge into her life and make her stop. Just when she was getting ready for a date with the guy she thought she liked. _Of course he had to get jealous…then go and save my life…and make me think about who I really want to be with! It's never been so hard before. _She knew she needed to talk to Wentzel and explain everything. If she didn't, her mind would be weighed down with guilt for the rest of her life.

"I'll be back soon," She whispered, unwrapping his arms from around her waist. Quietly, Pippa's feet landed on the cool floor of her apartment. She sat upright and pushed herself off of the couch. She knew he would be upset later but he had to understand that this was what she needed…clarification. Tiptoeing to her room, Pippa tried to remain as quiet as she could while getting dressed. A pair of jean shorts that ended halfway down her thigh, a loose tank top, and a sweater to cover her bandages. She ran a comb through her hair and applied some makeup onto her washed out face. So much had happened in the past twenty-four hours, she could barely keep her mind focused. Pippa grabbed a ten-dollar bill from the jar on her dresser and stuck it in her pocket, just in case she needed it. It was always a reassurance to have some money, and a reassurance that her friends would back her up if she needed it. But right now, she needed to do this on her own. She looked herself in the mirror one last time before leaving her room. She was ready to say what needed to be said. She was sure of it.

Jay was still sleeping when she re-entered the living room. For a moment, a dreadful thought filled her mind that when he woke up still nursing a hang over he would forget about everything that had happened last night…everything that they had shared. Her bare feet weren't as cold as she silently crept over to the couch. Bending down to kiss him again, she looked him over once more before leaning in. He was a man wrapped up in the case of a child. He'd seen too much to not be innocent, and she was pretty sure he'd done too much to be considered it.

"Please don't worry about me when you wake up Jay," Pippa whispered, kissing his forehead lightly. "I have to do this…for both of our sakes." And with that, she ran a hand through his hair before getting up and locking the door behind her.

……

His eyes opened the second he had heard the lock click. She had been too tense all night to have been sleeping. That pressure had kept him awake as well. He'd kept her in his arms, taking in her scent, and everything else about her. Her golden hair, her beautiful features…everything. He'd slowed his breathing and closed his eyes to pretend to be asleep. It had worked on Pippa, but it had been so hard for Jay to do. He lay there, breathing steadily still, his eyes dead on the window in front of him. He didn't have to be psychic to know where she was going. Pippa had never faired well with guilt, and even if that meant going to Wentz and back stabbing the relationship he'd worked so hard to build, she would do it for clarification.

"Yet I love her more than anything and anyone," He mumbled to himself, closing his eyes as he did. Maybe it was about time he tried to get some sleep? Jay pushed himself deeper into the couch, opening his eyes again as he reached for a pillow to hold in place of Pippa. "I love her more than anything."

……

"I thought I might find you here," Pippa had chosen to ride her bike to the first place she'd think Wentz would be. The Zephyr Surf Shop was a regular place for any one of the Z-boys or a friend of Skip's to crash at any given moment. She was just glad Wentzel had chosen the first place she would think of to crash. He looked up at her from his spot on the ground, his hand clasped together and his arms resting on his knees. Pippa bit her lip when she saw the colour drain from his face and his eyes light up expectantly.

"Hey Pippa," Wentzel said quietly. A smile was lost in his voice, but she could see a trace of it on his face. A few cars whizzed by, the breeze played gently with her hair, and Pippa smiled tiredly. It was almost noon, but she hadn't gotten any sleep last night. Especially when she figured out on the way to find Wentz that her mom hadn't come home last night. Pippa gripped the handles of her bicycle, still biting her lip.

"Could we go talk somewhere?" She asked. She was expecting him to laugh and flip her off, or shake his head and walk away. Yet Wentz just jumped onto his feet and stuck his hands in his pockets, nodding towards the pier.

"Sure thing," He grinned vaguely. They began to walk, bike still saddled under Pippa, and for a fleeting moment in the back of her mind she thought that Wentzel might think she was coming back to him. "About last night…"

"Yeah," She mumbled when he trailed off. They were well down the street now and heading into the nearly empty street. This part of town wasn't regularly passed by since claimed by skaters and surf rats, and any rich folk who dared drive here were usually only Sid's parents giving him a ride. Wentz turned to smile at her, his clear eyes shining and his tanned face brimming with confusion.

"Where were you?" Pippa let out a sigh, turning her green eyes from him to stare back at the horizon breaking through the palm trees and debris near the pier. The truth hurt in almost all occasions, but so did lying. She could say she was sick, but they'd both already know where she really was. "With Jay?"

"Yyyeeaaahhh," Pippa nodded after he asked her. She could almost see the disappointment in the way his shoulders sagged when she turned to look at him. "Wentz, I'm so sorry. I know it was horrible of me to lead you on…but to be honest, I really do like you."

"But Jay's just better?" Wentzel mumbled, waving her off when she opened her mouth to explain. "I understand Pippa. I mean you've known Jay forever! Of course he'd be the better choice. I mean, the dude has style…your style, apparently."

"Wentz, don't," She moaned, stopping her tracks and sitting down on her bicycle seat. The fact that it was in the middle of the street never even phased her mind. "Were you not listening to a thing I just said?" He turned to stare at her, and it was at that moment Pippa realized that she'd done far more than blow him off. She'd broken his heart at the same time. "I like you…I really, really like you. But…I love Jay. I'm in love with him. And yes, while he may be an ass hole, and while I may have to pick up the pieces more than just once in a while…I'm used to it with him by now. And I know that he is the guy I have to be with right now."

She'd never been looked at before with so much concentration before and it made her shiver. Wentz walked up to where she'd parked herself in the middle of the street. He shook his head, stretching his arms back and locking his fingers behind his head. He looked very grown up in the light of the sun with his sun-dried bleach blond hair and dark, tanned face. If things never worked out with Jay, she knew she would always have at least a friend in him to turn to.

"So I guess I'll have to get over you then?" Wentzel asked, and she nodded simply, smiling at him. He scoffed a laughed, reaching forward and grabbing onto the handlebars of her bike. "That's going to be _so_ damn hard, Vardon."

"But you have to do it," She grinned. He leaned in close and she tensed, but he just planted a simple kiss on her lips. The blush still reached her cheeks, and it already had hit his. He let out a sigh. His breath smelt like peppermint and smoke.

"Sorry…I couldn't help myself."

…….

Jay heard a loud thud reach his ears. When Pippa hadn't come back an hour later, he had decided to go next door to see what was for breakfast. And lunch. And last night's dinner. When all he had found was left over spaghetti, an all-bran muffin, and a half-eaten piece of pizza, he had chosen the muffin. As bad as it tasted, Jay didn't really mind the cardboard taste. Anything flavorful would make him throw up last night's beer. The thud sounded again, but this time he knew where it was coming from.

"Bipa?" He coughed through a mouth full of muffin. Was she finally home? The fact she'd gone to see Wentz for that long made him nervous. There was a lot you could do in an hour, he knew that very well. But if she were home, why would she be making such a racket? Finally swallowing the wad of chewed all-bran muffin, Jay swallowed the bit of juice he'd found in the refrigerator that wasn't sour or molding. Why his mom would have health food in their home was a mystery to him, and Jay had a sneaking suspicion that Amy Vardon might have raided their fridge at some point in time. "Pip, is that you?" The walls in their apartment were paper thin, and he could hear everything that was going on. Things were crashing, and a bit of moaning could be heard from the other side. At first, Jay panicked. What if she was hurt? What if she needed his help? But when the name Harley was shouted, that worry turned to disgust. Amy's new boyfriend…

He ran to the sink just in case he needed to hurl. Pippa's mom had dragged her newest boyfriend back home for some extra sugar? Pippa had complained her mom would be coming home last night…yet from the sounds of it, she hadn't been planning on coming home any time soon.

"Shit…shit…shit…" He mumbled to himself, trying to ignore the sounds coming from next door. What would happen when Pippa got home? What would happen when she walked in on her mother doing it with some guy she barely knew? Jay froze for a few moments before throwing down half of the muffin and bolting for the door. He couldn't let his new girlfriend and lover _and_ best friend walk in on the worst situation possible. He was used to it because of his mom and Donny…but he somehow doubted the fact that Pippa would ever get used to the idea of her mom with another guy.


	6. A Certain Romance

Incomplete

Chapter Six: A Certain Romance

**A/N: So I know that you all hate me for updating this story, and pretty much all of my other ones. But I've been busy! Don't blame me... blame my schoolwork. Anyway, new chapter! I hope you like it...so, as you might have been able to tell it's most definitely a Pippa/Jay story now. Sorry for all the Pippa/Wentzel lovers out there!**

Pippa walked slowly up the stairs to her apartment. She felt better, lighter even, than she had before. She'd felt as if her relationship with Jay had been backstabbing Wentzel. But now...everything was clear. Everything was perfect. Everything _except_ the relationship she had with her mother. A year ago, the two had been almost as inseparable as she and Jay had been. It was when Amy had begun to date Harley... Pippa cringed while thinking about her mom's new boyfriend. She barely knew him, yet she hated him.

"Pippa!" Jay's exasperated cry made her look up as she reached the last step. He was standing in front of her with a nervous, yet wild grin on his face, a hand on his head as he stared down at her. "You're home!" She was clutching railing with one hand, trying to ignore the pain coming from her other wrist and shooting randomly in her back. The wind toyed with her long blonde hair and she grinned.

"Yep...sorry I left I just had to go see We-" He cut her off abruptly by kissing her, her hand freezing for a moment before snaking up his neck. He broke off from her to kiss her neck, and she let out a giggle as she took the last step up. "Jay...Jay, stop it. Jay...Jay, that tickles! Stop!" Jay stopped kissing her long enough to wrap his arms around her waist and come level to level with her, peering into her eyes.

"How about we go somewhere?" He suggested, and she smiled, only faltering slightly when he pressed down too hard on one of the cuts on her back. "We could go to the shop, we could go get something to eat..."

"Sure. Let me just go grab my bag from inside," Pippa gently moved him out of the way to get into her house only to have him jump in front of her again. "Jay, what the hell are you doing?"

"I'm...just...so happy you're here," He was lying. She could tell from the way his eyes here pouring eagerly into hers. Jay, unlike others, looked you completely in the eyes when he lied and avoided your glance at other times. Pippa jutted out her hip, rolling her eyes and trying to push past him again. "Pippa, no!"

"What are you trying to hide from me?" She asked him, her mind instantly jumping to the most bizarre of situations. Jay had another girl in her apartment. She was lying half-naked on the couch. They hadn't even been together for one day and he was already cheating on her. Pippa shook her head, trying to push past him again. That was highly impossible. Jay wasn't stupid enough to bring another girl into his best friend/girlfriend's house, no matter what most people thought. "Jay..."

"Pip, trust me. I know that you don't-" Her wince cut him off as he moved his hand to her wrist. _That_ wrist. His grip had been too hard to ignore. "Oh...shit...Pippa, are you okay? Pip?" Jay's face had dissolved from lying into worry in an instant. Stupidly enough, he hadn't let go of her wrist yet. "Pippa?"

"Jay!" She coughed, moving her hand to swat at his. He immediately let her go, watching as her knees gave way slightly. Luckily, she had enough composure left in her to catch herself. "Holy tight grip, man."

"Sorry..." He said slowly, almost as if he was putting the pieces together. Pippa dropped her eyes, pushing past him again while gently rubbing her wrist. _He doesn't know. He's only seen the bandages. You can lie your way out of this one Pippa._ "Pip, where are you going?"

"Going to get my bag Jay...seriously. Why are you so worried about me going in there?" Pippa turned to send an odd look his way before turning the doorknob as he let out a startled cry.

"Don't!"

Empty. The living room was exactly the same as it had been when she left. Jay landed beside her, catching his fall by grabbing the door frame. He was breathing heavily, as if she would discover some horrible secret locked away somewhere. Pippa's green eyes traveled to him again.

"Are you okay? Or am I going to have to send you back to that white-jacket hospital Jayboy?" She smiled lightly at him as his brown eyes flew wildly around the room, a stringy piece of blonde hair falling in front of his eyes. "One second. I'll grab my bag and we can go out...okay?"

"Oh...okay...sure...take...take your time," Jay gasped, leaning against the doorframe again. "Don't...don't know what I was thinking. Sorry..."

"It's okay. Just don't let it happen again," Pippa offered him one more smile before walking towards her room. Truthfully, the last thing she wanted to do was go out. She was tired after being up and worrying for most of the night, and a nice long bath seemed so appealing. As long as she kept her bandages and cut out of the water...

Pippa tiredly swung open the door to her room, sliding her feet on the cold, carpeted floor. The sunny air was climbing in through her window, making the small mauve room drafty. She toyed with a piece of hair while sauntering to her bed. No, her desk. The top of her dresser. Where had she left her bag? The things she needed to go out were all in that slouchy canvas bag.

"Jay?" She called quietly, clearing her throat when she realized he probably hadn't heard her. "Ja-"

"You called?" He was standing at the door, watching her with a relieved smirk on his face. She smiled back at him, running a hand through her long blond hair. "Can't find your bag?"

"I could have sworn I put it down...oh, wait," One of her favorite lipsticks was in that bag. Her mother, being her mother, loved it as well. "It's probably just in my mom's room." His face lit up in alarm as she walked quickly past him and into the hallway. "One second."

"Pip, do you really need that bag?" Her cloudy gray eyes went wide at his words. She stopped suddenly and swiveled around, her long hair spreading across her shoulders. "I mean...I've got some cash from Donny...I can always buy something for you. Or better yet, we can go to Sid's house and he can buy something for you."

"You're doing it again," She ignored the money comment, knowing full well that he was only lying. Jay's brown eyes bored holes into her face and he remained lip tight.

"Doing what?"

"That."

"What?"

"Jay! Stop it..." Pippa mumbled, rolling her eyes and turning around. He was just being annoying, like the several thousands of previous times he had been. She smiled lightly to herself as she thought about that. That was one of the things that made him Jay Adams. The boy she, Pippa Vardon, was in love with. That feeling felt better than any kind of cut on her arm. "It should be..." She trailed off as she opened the door to her mom's room, her head tilting to the side. Jay's sharp intake of breath made her glance back at him quickly before she stepped into her mom's room. "Right here." On top of her mom's dresser. Exactly where she had thought it might be.

Jay appeared at the doorway seconds later, his eyes wide and relieved. She was holding her bag in one hand as she stared at him oddly, a smirk on her face.

"What's your problem? You think I don't know my own house?" Pippa teased, taking the few steps necessary to get to the door. "Jay...what's wrong?" She stopped short in front of him as he stared wordlessly at her, a large grin coming onto his face. He laughed nervously and shrugged, his arms falling around her after he stretched.

"I really don't know," He laughed, his eyes glancing down at her lips. "I really...want to kiss you."

"Then kiss me," The warmth that filled her body when he did was not natural, but something she'd been feeling since the first time he had kissed her. When he'd saved her...soaking wet in the middle of a sandy bank. The perfect story to tell kids and grandkids and so forth...

A large bang interrupted their kiss. Pippa could have sworn she felt Jay freeze up against her a millisecond after it rang through her house. She pulled back to give him a quizzical warning, another loud noise coming from the bathroom.

"Pippa-"

"Stay here."

"Don't you think it's better if I check it out? What if it's a robber?"

Amy had been in here with her boyfriend. That fact almost relieved Jay as he realized he wasn't going insane. But the fact that Pippa was reaching for the bathroom door handle made his panic alarm go off in his head. She had already suspected something of being somewhere, with his large paranoia following them around like a looming shadow, and just until a few minutes ago, she'd been convinced everything was fine. Now they were both going to have to face the fact that her mom was doing _it_ in the bathroom of all places.

"Jay - shut up..." Pippa trailed off as the door swung open to reveal a scene Jay had most certainly never wanted to see in his life. He had walked in on Donny and his mom having sex one too many times too be too grossed out by that sight...but this was something new. He averted his eyes quickly, reaching forward to pull Pippa away from the door. Amy shrieked, Pippa gasped, and the rough looking man who was more than likely Harley was wide-eyed. "Holy shi-"

"Pippa, let's go. Pip!" Jay mumbled, grabbing her by the shoulders and leading her out the door. She didn't struggle at all and just seemed to walk as quickly as he was. He waited until they were at the bottom of the apartment stairs to stop her. "Are you okay?"

She didn't reply right away. She wouldn't even look him in the eye. She just stood there with a stony face, her arms crossed, and a vacant stare deep on her face. After a second, she frowned, letting out a sigh. _She doesn't know what to think._ Unsure of what she wanted him to do, Jay did the only thing he knew would work. He wrapped his arms around her torso and stood there with her. Her face was buried into his face, and he almost didn't hear the words that came out of her mouth.

"Thank you for trying to hide that."


End file.
